In my eyes sharing my Self Care tips for mums is pretty important. My stress levels have increased by huge amounts since embarking on the mum life. I read a quote recently that said something along the lines of ‘we will do absolutely anything for our kids. Except it seems, take care of ourselves.’
For some reason, once you become a parent, taking care of your self comes with guilt and a feeling of being selfish if for just one second you put yourself first. Don’t shoot me but I’ve noticed that this feeling of guilt is quiet often although not limited to of course, mums. Crazy but true right? I follow a lot of mums on insta and see countless posts on there saying things such as ‘I needed to clear my head so I went for a 20 minute walk to take a break. I felt so guilty leaving baby with daddy.’ Good on them for going anyway but you just don’t hear men saying such things. In fact most (I’m guessing here) would walk out the door without a second glance if you offered them a quick pint with their mates.
Can you imagine men feeling guilty for saying yes? No. That’s not to say that it is wrong, I’m saying we should think and act a little more like men every now and then. It’s healthy for you, it’s healthy for your kids, your relationship with your partner and friendships too. In fact anyone that you spend any time with will benifit from you taking a break. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Self care for mums or anyone else, doesn’t have to be a big weekend away or mean spending lots of money on extravagant Spa days (although I’m up for all that too). You can look after yourself by integrating small things daily into your life that collectively make a happier you. So maybe next time you feel like you just need some time alone or some ‘me’ time why not through caution to the wind and try one of the below.
Here are my favourite self care tips for mums and the ones I practice myself in everyday life:
1. A Walk.
Fresh air, your own thoughts, your favourite music, just you yourself and I. It feels liberating to just walk by yourself and being outside does wonders for your mental well being. Especially if you can team this with getting closer to nature. Visit the beach, a country trail or the woods. You don’t have to have an end goal, just walk until you want to stop. It will lower your stress levels and lift your mood. If you can run, great it’s even better for you and your heart but walking can be done by almost all of us and is a great start to a healthier lifestyle too.
2. A Bubble Bath
OK, I get it. Self care isn’t all about bubble baths but there is a certain allure of a relaxing bubble bath and if you feel it, do it. Self care is doing about what you love. Once the kids are sleeping run one for yourself. Put in some relaxing bath salts to ease those aching muscles, light a scented candle (I highly recommend the products from https://hulushop.co.uk they are reasonably priced, lovely packaging and smell delicious), hell go all out and play whale music if you want. If it makes you feel good, put on a face mask. Wash your hair and deep condition it. Lather yourself in a lux body moisturiser if it tickles your fancy! You can take this as far as you want just be careful not to make it feel like a chore.
3. Read a Book
Is there a better form of escapism? Reading a book can transport you into another world, one away from your every day stresses. There has also been research done to say that reading is great if you suffer from anxiety or if you feel overwhelmed. Reading tells your brain it’s time to rest. So put down your phone, turn off the TV (which both tell your brain its very much not), make yourself a TEA Plus Sleep TEA and read for 20 minutes before lights out and you should see an improvement on your sleep which is going to benefit your overall health and wellbeing.
4. Paint your Nails.
Or your toenails or do your hair. Whatever is your preference. Beauty stuff isn’t for everyone but for a lot of people it is an investment in their confidence and happiness. Myself included. Pre kids I used to do my nails religiously, I’d never be seen without polish. Now it’s every now and then but when they are done I feel so much more put together. Plus I find the act of filing, buffing and polishing quite therapeutic.
5. Grab a Lay In
One of my favouirte self care tips for mums! Every single week (unless we have early morning plans) I get a Sunday morning lay in with breakfast and a cup of tea in bed. How? My husband and I take it in turns. He lays in in Saturdays and I get up with the kids and vise versa on Sundays. I look forward to it all week. I don’t lay in any longer than 9:30/10am but it’s blissful and teamed with an early night on Saturday, the perfect way to catch up on sleep missed during the week. If you get woken up by the kids and can’t go back to sleep, don’t get up. Use the time for a bit of rest and relaxation which is so so important for mind and body.
6. Go for a Coffee
This is another one for people like me who crave a bit of alone time every now and then and the chance to do the things you used to love pre kids. Go to your favourite coffee place. Treat yourself to something nice, sit and enjoy. This is not a time to do that life admin or squeeze in study or work but is an ideal time to pick up your favourite book.
7. Sit Down and Enjoy a Cup of Tea
Visiting a coffee place can take a bit of organising but taking time to sit down and have a cup of tea is a lot easier. Preferably child free. I like to set my kids up up with a little activity so I can sit without a constant stream of questions and demand for snacks for five minutes and just be. In a different room.
It’s the equivalent of taking a tea break at work, sometimes you just have to step away from your desk and regroup for a minute. Just because you’re at home doesn’t mean your need for a break is any less. I’m loving Tea Plus Teas at the mo as not only do they fulfill my need for hot drinks (especially in winter) they are infused with vitamins so I’m looking after me from the inside at the same time. Take a look at my full Tea Plus review.
8. Practice Pilates or Yoga.
There are so many great YouTube videos that you can follow at home if you can’t get to a class, maybe daddy could take the kids to the park for an hour while you look after your body. Joseph Pilates said ‘All in all we do not give our bodies the care that our wellbeing deserves.’ but it’s never too late to start. It’s not just your body that Pilates and Yoga are good for though. Oh no. both use techniques that are good for your mind and help with your mental health. They focus on breathing exercises which help bring our awareness back to mindfulness. Both reduce stress and help to balance your emotional state.
9. Start a WhatsApp Group of Supportive Mums
I know from experience that there is nothing like the support of other mums. Particularly in the early days of parenting. To have people you can ask questions, have a rant with or even just have a natter about the latest episode of Love Island this support is priceless.
Don’t know any mums? There are apps such as MUSH that can help you meet other mums in your area or visit your local baby and toddler group. OK, so it might take time to get to the point where your comfortable setting up a WhatsApp group with them but in the meantime at least you have some people you are seeing regularly that know exactly what you are going through and are probably going through similar right now. Knowing you’re not alone in this thing called motherhood is a great feeling (mum bloggers are also good for this 🙂 ). Be sure to share your self care tips for mums, you never know how much you could be helping someone.
10. Get a Baby Sitter and Have a Date Night regularly.
So we are lucky, I have a mother in law who lives around the corner and is more than happy to have both kids over night every month or so. My mum is also around and if we want to stay over night somewhere she will stay the night at our house to look after them. If you don’t have anyone close by maybe you could have an agreement with friends. You could take their kids for an afternoon and they take yours in return. A lunch date is better than no date at all! It allows you to have quality one on one time and an investment in the wellbeing of your relationship. If you are happy in your relationship, chances are you will feel happier about life in general.
11. Get a Takeaway.
You could of course also do this for your date night but the reason I have put it as its own idea is because you can treat yourself to a take away outside of your date night plans too.
As mums we spend a lot of time in the kitchen, breakfasts, lunches, dinner (sometimes two dinners if you do something separate for your kids). Then there is all the cleaning up that goes with it. Every now and then treat yourself to a takeaway. Companies like Deliveroo mean the world is literally your takeaway oyster. Pick your favorite and relax. If your kids are old enough to eat takeaway it’s OK to order something for them too. Everything in moderation and all that. Every now and then it’s just nice to give yourself a break, sit down enjoy your dinner with no thoughts of tons of washing up looming over your head. Finish your meal and relax.
12. Celebrate Parenting Wins
Maybe not seen as one of the conventional self care tips for mums but good for your mental health.
I am actually totally guilty of not doing this enough myself. We give ourselves a hard time sometimes. We constantly pick holes in ourselves, question our decisions and put ourselves under the most immense pressure. Do I play with our kids enough? Should I reduce their screen time? Do I let them get away with too much for the sake of an easy life? Should I really be feeding them cheese on pasta for dinner again because it’s the only thing they will eat or should I let them go hungry if I cook them something else (as I know it will end up in the bin). Is three biscuits in a day too many? Am I an awful mum for losing my temper when my kids aren’t listening Again. I’d be a much better mum if I was more like Susan next door.
These things go through my head almost daily. Let’s be realistic here, you are not going to enjoy every moment of parenting and that’s OK but you will feel a whole lot better about yourself if you recognise your parenting wins each day too. Managed to get the kids out the door on time – win. Stopped a full blown tantrum with a clever negotiation – win. Managed to come up with something your kids can do independently so you can cook dinner without them hanging off your neck – win. Thinking this way will do wonders for your self esteem.
So there we have it my 12 self care tips for mums for you to try. None of which FYI are selfish. By practicing a bit of self care you are teaching your kids that taking care of yourself is every bit as important as taking care of your family and wouldn’t you want your kids to grow up thinking that?